Be-cause
HOW do you GIVE AWAY control over your life?
DENY CAUSE.
CAUSE = “WHAT DID IT.” The cause did it. Jerry crashed the car. Lisa stole the wallet. Butch closed the door. Jerry did it. Lisa did it. Butch did it. They were the cause.
Excuse: “I got angry be cause George lied.”
Excuse: George was the cause of me getting angry.
If George was the cause, where does that leave me?
That leaves me at effect. My action was an affect of George. George was in control of me. What kind of life is that?
The key to controlling and running your own life, and having a good one, is responsibility. And the key to responsibility is YOU. Not anyone else.
BLAME
How do you give your life away to other people? How do you give them control over you? By blaming them. By giving them cause.
How can you take back control of your life? Blame yourself.
WRONG: “I got angry be cause George lied.”
RIGHT: “I got angry be cause I realized I shouldn’t have trusted him.”
That is an “I” cause, rather than a “someone else” cause. And that gets me back in charge of my destiny.
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THE WORST CASE:
I got angry because GEORGE lied...
I got angry because BILL stole my tie
I got angry because JERRY disrespected me...
I got angry because MARTHA had an affair ...
These are affect statements. They put OTHER PEOPLE in charge.
A BAD CASE:
I got angry because THE MONEY was gone.
I got angry because THEY didn’t fix the car right.
I got angry because IT was taking too damn long.
I got angry because WHAT HAPPENED WASN’T FAIR.
These are ALSO affect statements. These put EVENTS in charge.
THE BEST CASE:
I got angry because I DID... - (because you did what?)
I got angry because I DIDN’T... - (because you didn’t do what?)
I got angry because I WANTED... - (because you wanted what?)
I got angry because I DIDN’T WANT... - (you didn’t want what?)
I got angry because I THOUGHT... - (because you thought what?)
I got angry because I EXPECTED... - (because you expected what?)
I got angry because I ASSUMED... - (because you assumed what?)
These are cause statements. They put you in charge.
Find the answers to those questions---seriously. Really do it and you will find yourself back in the driver’s seat.