We empower others when we say, He did this and that, and I couldn’t do anything about it.


We could empower ourselves instead by saying, “I can do this and that, and he can’t do anything about it.”


The following is a very good mental exercise to use if or when you feel that someone has challenged you and you feel like escalating the situation. The idea is not to get in a power battle with someone, but instead to remind yourself of the unlimited power you have regardless of what anyone else says or does. After all, you are the only boss of your own life.


Find a quiet place where you can be alone for a short time. This is important. The idea is not to confront the other person, at least not at this time. It is to take charge of and challenge yourself.


Repeat the following over and over, out loud, filling in the last part of the sentence with whatever you feel is true. It is important that you say it out loud so that you actually hear yourself say it.


Say: I could…” and then finish the sentence.


For example:

I could… punch him in the nose.

I could… report him to staff.

I could… laugh in his face.

I could… give him information in group.

I could… squirt him with a water pistol.


It doesn't even have to be true, as long as you can imagine it.


Release your feelings, loosen you mind, free up your thinking. Be outrageous. Be funny. Be serious. And, keep on telling yourself “I could” statements, over and over, until something changes.


Continue this for a long time. Empower yourself with many, many answers. Don’t get stuck on just a couple of answers. That is not power. For example, tell yourself at least 30 things you could do. Continue until you can think of so many alternatives that power is no longer a problem to you.


Be creative. Discover at least dozens of ways you could address or go around any life situation.


But, remember, this is not a power play. It is just to remind yourself of the unlimited power that you really have.


If you need more examples:


I could… refuse to buy him a movie ticket.

I could… steal his newspaper.

I could… talk so low that he has trouble hearing me.

I could… argue with him for an hour and then stop.

I could… kick him in the you know where.

I could… skip it altogether and get some lunch.


Get the idea. Get with it. Get your power back.



© Copyright Joseph Belotte 1999

Empowerment